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CHARGES

Inspiration by way of artistic philosophy

The experiences that people go through in their lives can often be un-describable highs and lows and many of them are expressed here in an artistic, sometimes cryptic way. These selected excerpts from the book, Charges have been restructured into paragraph form. They describe what challenges often feel like at different stages in life and at the same time give effective solutions that one can take to overcome them. These words support us on our individual path and you may find that you have been here before and have come far already. For more on the book or to view the 15 illustrations click here.

Changing direction | Separation aftermath | A good listener | Positioning a future

Fear of losing pride | To love is to allow | To say 'I love' | Allow yourself now | To see the lies

Aching body | The healing of the heart | Anger, the constrictor | Feel lighter | Honour your mind

To have choice | Feel like a diamond | Some kind of knowledge | Forgiveness | Rebellion

Opening the box | Make ready for success | Trauma | Here and now | Real dreams

An essence to inhale | Loving your body | Back to the heart | Chasing money | Losing your misery

Your own voice | The hungry wolf | A life for me | The roots of spade | Yield at the darkness

Jewels in the sand | Many people, many ways | Green Tongues | You are life | The child in them

The higher thought | What truth laid bare | Belief in yourself | In troubled times

ISBN 0-8062-4512-3

Carlton Press

NY 1994

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Charges 1-23 are published

in this hard cover book.

Charges 24-54 missed the publisher's deadline and are included as an insert when you receive this edition.

The next edition will include

all of the poems and be

published when these copies are gone.

1. Changing direction

Comfortably on the edge or the brink of hope and helplessness. Like the center of a wagon wheel all roads lead home and I'm looking for the shortest. Accomplishment seems so close it is in front of me, staring at me. I am blind to it though and I feel that I should know. Yet if I did at this point I would not be ready for it, right now it is too big for me. It always feels like soon, so I sleep hoping it will come sooner and still afraid that I could be so happy while leaving others in their misery. So I feel guilty just thinking of the happiness.

2. Separation aftermath

Give me time to find a reason for leaving you without a chance to ask me why. Though you can't see how I adored you, there's so much more you could not give. Now I look back to face the music, I won't admit how much it hurt. My hopes, my dreams had all been shattered and the years have shown me this. So now I pray 'cause I still love you, I won't forget my promises and all the time we've put between us, our kids are still a joining bliss.

3. A good listener

An opening of the heart which no man can give to the good and charmed life of the ones who make it through. Pay attention to what people say as they talk with you. That is important, as there are few who listen. Listening will raise your spirits as it is a way of bringing out the good in people. When you think that you are strong enough to listen, try it to show yourself a bit first.

4. Positioning a future

Position a future, a way to the dawn. In your eyes all the dreams give you time to decide. Feel strong in your heart there are many road ways. Be wise to the earth, save luck on a string to reel in at the plan, escape with your string and your life in your hand.

5. Fear of losing pride

There is fear. Fear that you are losing until you see that in reality, you are winning. Losing of your self that which is cherished to defend it at all cost. For without pride are we no one? What has more effect than the power of pride? We feel it protects us having our noses in the air. Find that power which is beyond pride. You will have something different, courage where pride was false courage, and false in its own sense of the word. Find the courage within, a spark to weld to your heart, that heart in your soul. Like a sperm to the ova let it embed itself, it will grow as an embryo and you will have its power and not lose yourself. It is for you…accept it.

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6. To love is to allow

There is some time today to reflect on life, receive enjoyment, receive joy. 'Being' happy is a learned thing, you should learn as a child. If you give the gift of happiness which is more of an allowing, the time spent giving has your world in a down spin to fare a hand that takes from you the same what they expect, but are not prepared to give. It is your turn to receive, your time to gather. Accept with a measure of gusto to help bring back the life that should have been. They love you though they cannot show it, they can't help but. Do not bother yourself with trivial things such as who needs what. To love is to allow.

7. To say 'I love'

To say "I love" sets a charge upon yourself to a debt which you now owe, until the debt is paid, so be it a year, a day, a lifetime. The length to the strength and potential for loving. Words not to be taken lightly. Trade off when due since the magic of a moment lends ears to its music. A note played in haste has a tone of its own. Only those listening are allowed to prosper. If another stands in your way see the path he is taking and send him on his way.

8. To the breast

9. Allow yourself now

Say what you will to be, listen to the stir as it wakens, see a tuning fork and its vibration force. You must let it resonate, to contain it would shatter there whence it came by the law of its home. Allow it to pass your barriers of disbelief, they will dissolve by their own nature as they are not being fed, they weaken then die. Stand guard to feel alive, once the will has stirred the movement you must listen for the echo of the thought and you will know it as truth to be leaned upon which is stronger than all things. 

Remember to allow yourself now, it is your time to bear a fruit of your own, and you will know what kind of tree you are and that is called your truth.

To know what you want is not the issue, to know what you will to be makes more sense. To covet your truth will heighten passion in you. To grasp and devour every object along the path of life that leads to your truth is a sign that there is no control. Even a little control will lessen the anxiety and speed you on your way. Upon discovery you will be aware of the need for the secrecy and the blindness often surrounding the journey. Do not become sad or disheartened, take light in some facts, it is hard, but not impossible. It is a challenge of the will you are learning, strength in an unseen world. For the will must become strong, you can feel it becoming stronger. It has come a long way, it has been deeply buried for so long. A hard struggle of years from a deathbed to heaven is a long road.

10. To see the lies

State your name, that is your purpose. You must deal with the truth no matter how wonderful it is. You are not a horrible person as you have so judged. As a child, a child's voice you were hearing, yet, you heeded the words of a child's tiny noise. Listen to it now, you will be glad you stopped to hear what was said to see the lies so that you could stop living them.

11. Aching body

It aches to tell you something. The sadness in the heart cannot serve you or your purpose. You are afraid, you have begun to heed, the lie you are afraid. You are not afraid, others are afraid for you, they always have been. Lose that because it is not you. Belief - stand in your own shadow. Conviction - you love life. You are not afraid, it is not your fear, but you have taken it on with nowhere to put it. Expel the evil destroyer. Know that you are adventurous, fun loving, free-spirited, energetic, winsome and vivacious, and not afraid.

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12. Sore back

13. The healing of the heart

The heart feels full of wonder, like it has a voice of its own even, but I have never heard it before, yet, it is familiar. The promise had done its work secretly as told. The healing of the heart took place without precognition. A wonder of the world from the first grasp it is coveted as birth. It is born, a new sensation for the body. My heart has words and I will listen. What is the first word my heart spoke? Where has it been, the wisdom of the heart? We will keep checking to be sure it's still there for a while to make belief and build excitement and richness you've never known.

14. Anger, the constrictor

I see you anger, I have spoken. I am no longer helpless to your rage, it is defined, it has a name, constrictor, I have beaten it. Joyous sounds will I hear, family and friendly talk flow. The constrictor is gone and much has been done in spite of it. There is more life yet and a better way.

15. Feel lighter

Walk outside, you can breathe easier. There's nothing to fear and nothing to stop you from becoming that which you want to be. You are shaken with freedom, aroused from the ‘sleep'. Move freely in the world as a fog through the air.

16. Honour your mind

No belief? Think of little drops of poison entering the body constant feed. Develop akin to mirror magic a system by which an antidote can dissipate the poison before it enters. Give your mind a gift, put your mind on the pedestal, honour it, it will thrive and bring you riches and secrets. Place it above all, give it gifts of gold, use thoughts of images, give it the best you can dream of, the prettiest flowers, the shiniest gold, incredible jewels. Do this without ceasing…practice.

17. To have choice

I have gone to where 'I' wanted to go. I allowed no one to stop me. I decided 'when' I was finished. It is 'my' choice finally. I allowed no one to interfere. I have ‘done' something, a feeling of accomplishment so long awaited for yet still unclear as to its substance. A victory that is mine alone I have won. It cannot be taken from me, the victory is within, the end of the search. What I will do now is not without recognition, as is choice. To feel as though I have choice and not driven is new to me, how I will express this is something we all will find out.

18. Feel like a diamond

Start to feel like a diamond in the sand. All of the sparkles could be diamonds, but you are the only one of few. You've been picked up and dropped so many times that you've become polished and shine brighter than the North Star. Give yourself your life back.

19. Some kind of knowledge

There is some kind of knowledge that gives more than hope it gives a promise, the promise to believe, belief as knowing, personal belief. It brings faith, faith inspires, sets fires, fires burn then spread leaving their ash as a reminder of what took place then a better life breaks through.

What you see now is far more complicated than the thought that brought it here. What would be some simple and realistic thoughts? Or What do I need for the wonderfully perfect things? To imagine when you can't, when all you can do is look around yourself and feel despair and guilt because you ‘should' be thankful. To forget what feeling good is. Ah! To feel good! What makes good feelings in yourself alone?

There is fear to stop you, it will not get you through. The heart has always been a block, it has no intelligence, it is desire. When the heart's desire is gone and nothing has taken its place you must fix it with giorgio, smell your life, savour you own self ‘being'. Remember ‘here' and ‘now'. Fear will keep you where you are.

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21. Forgiveness

You hurt with pain from the past, it will keep you there. Lessons are taught to those who are your receivers according to their words. You need not fear them, but picture them as your angels who have taught you forgiveness, free them from your spell and let them be, do not interfere in the lessons. Forgive and be safe in the light, forgive to save yourself. It is your right to honour yourself, you will be proud of your feat, at last it will mean something for everyone. Look at these people and feel proud of the courage needed to forgive them. A time to forgive…a time to blame.

Blame instills guilt when accepted…forgiveness instills responsibility when acknowledged. To forgive is to accept as is and not judge, let go of them by forgiving. To hold on will destroy by addiction, addiction to the pain and the fear, which form roots for other addictions. There is another way to feel…it is life.

22. Rebellion

When rebellion takes hold you forget to cover yourself. There is intense desire to say "NO" to everything, even your own existence, seemingly unstable. The point of rebellion is to take something that has been taken from you while taking everything but. Your sense of importance you cannot steal back. You can give the man his life, the power to give importance, to matter again. Look and you will see how to import life:

Reverse the moment of decision. It is now…go back in the event, bring it forth, see it clearly, change it to your advantage, view the memory the way you want, feel the way you want to feel, put it back into the memory, remember it as good, feed it to the brain. This is a trick to start life over, give it a moment to produce the antitoxin for the poisoned mind. You look over the course you've taken, but now everything that happened is called wonderful. I did that and that and it was great. Don't be concerned about other things right now give yourself time to exercise the mind with those great ones, accept them. You did great things, the past is now also, now is the past, change what feelings you will.

23. Opening the box

The secrets of the world lay the pattern for mystery. Open the box you will find not one, but two. The confusion begins. Which will I seek? Pick…and open the box and there will be the same as the first and every box after 'til the sight of the box causes you to stay away until you make ready your mind to accept that it is you who decides what is already inside.

24. Make ready for success

Harder for some because you care not to step too heavily, major blockage, you're afraid to look at yourself now in case you fall. If you keep yourself down you think the bottom won't be such a long drop. Ready for failure while striving for heights is the cause of your demise. Make ready for the success that toil has prepared for toil alone has little direction. The toil comes only in making ready.

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25. Trauma

It is trauma, the trauma has killed you. Now you will look there is some one thing that has been taken from you. There is no why you understand, to have it again you must love life.

26. Here and now

To know where you are you only know where others are not, where few have been, where you've not been before. What you do with yourself in this place, the ‘here and now’, welcome back.

27. Real dreams

‘Here and now’ is the only place to be, for while your back was turned to fantasy your mind you took to see those dreams, those desires of pure empty. Day dreams you know, real dreams to learn. Next time, a flame of true passion, know the passion, there is real dreams.

28. An essence to inhale

A lot of work this life to find an arrow darting to touch everything, before it is dark an essence to inhale. The things of this world are many as the stars are countless with new ones forever forming the victory of the brave.

29. Life as it should be

30. The friend

31. Loving your body

Let it drift away to come back, see it anew, the dimples and crevices, they belong to you. It is a friend not to be ignored, talk to it as such, let it respond. It is not a fight, there should be no enemies to battle. See potential, see love in its being, as a puppy, training will start as awareness increases in time.

32. Back to the heart

Now the eve is pressing you to forget whence you came, to see shadows that show the light. Given one that is you…given back it is truth. Follow the eye, a line it will trace to show you the way back to the heart. Give up on the ghosts that haunt and taunt to tease you with 'Should have beens'. Things done were the way to sea, refresh yourself here, the battle won, discard the armor, the hardness you saved for fear, it is gone.

33. Chasing money

Money takes pride of self to conform its own means and end. To chase after it will bring death to your ignoble character. Chase instead love of life, proof of desire. Money is not to be sought after, you'll learn the other makes more than money can afford. Delinquent stuff if handled wrongly. Give up the chase, look out for the other.

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34. Laughing at the stream

35. Losing your misery

To join the thoughts before obscure with life in me we now abide together, the right and left unite. I'm born of light, which has new meaning, give me night I will still see. Wisdom they say from decision comes with knowledge not far behind. Take anew this life, surrender naught for love or money. Let others walk their choice to be near you. There is a time of sadness losing your misery that's kept you one companion of undesired. To cover up your fear to face extreme opposing sides in you the shades of `M' can now be lifted, the light has come to take its place. Life in the light, unknown by many, a new, a fresh paper to write on. This paper takes no sad words to lose you in an awful space. One leg behind you, one in front, the picture speaks for itself.

36. Your own voice

A slave to freedom faces all, in kind. Come away from that which beckons unceasingly good. The choice you have shown to avenge the lies. You have proven more worthy than you know. The strength you have learned and praises from within clammer and climb to exalt you, like a voice exploding from deep within a well, heard for the first time by many who before heard just a noise. A voice that belongs to you, your own trumpet, your own notes, there's no mistaking it's you. You can talk with vibration, even the trees will hear you and respond, your words are alive.

37. The hungry wolf

The pale moon faces the east on this night of sorrow, once forgotten is held now to remind you forever passing, failing to subdue little one's sobs and tears, seeking justice from the blind. They chose not to see yet call for more light on their path. Keep your thought pure, no food for wicked things. Laugh at them in their folly to keep from you the hungry wolf of guilt. You were not born to wear this badge, the wolf will follow, heap the black eyes some foolishness for it waits to watch you fear it's breath, it's wretched mind wants a joy to kill. 

38. A life for me

If ever I see a life for me to woo a thought of my desire take space and form intense fire.

39. The roots of spade

The choice of life today says ‘I call'. The game played its last round, my hand had cards, some were faded and torn, I knew the spots of go-between. The roots of spade show true, the choice to call, no bluff or winks. Too late for others who wait for perfect cards, I play now with trust in what I've got.

40. Yield at the darkness

Yield at the darkness, the fight is not yours, nor is it over. Let the light have its way to procure and hold the essence of darkness. Your part is to show the place where black resides and look the other way, tin hurt like love gone bad. It's hard to mouth the words that stop the pain. Your joy will be that you've done your part.

41. Jewels in the sand

Jewels in the sand are they for me? Cleansed of agastion (ghastly things), I will acceptance to cut the course of cords that bind. The effort lasting since to me I shout hooray and many times say thanks. The tears now are of brightness in the eye, to hold them in my hand I feel a peaceful power which surrounds me for miles, as far as a thought can go? My thoughts have power, of this I will learn.

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42. A job of life

43. Many people, many ways

I am guardian of my life, like the soap dispells dirt by its natural state, I choose to make known my love for attuning that which is unpursed in accordance with what's left me.  Which laws make me? I know write from the heart. Give me simple things I will show you the thought behind what you see. There are as many ways as people to look upon an act though none is better. 

44. Green Tongues

I see a morning wake me with delight, crimson is the color I choose today. See green tongues wearing such a lovely hue. Too bad it's lost its color or is hidden by their words.

45. Another part of me

46. That part of me

47. The kiss of life

48. You are life

Who am I, you now ask. Most are content to just be. You have filled your loins, bore fruit, became a tree, inspired, transpired, loved and touched, hated and alienated. So, who are you? Who knows? The Queen of Sheba? Who is anyone? You are life. Some good news, the mind is more open, that is the difference, keep the mind open.

49. The child in them

I am ready to use my power. Those who dare come across my path only to beat me, I will forgive the child in them, but not their cause.

50. Allot an end

51. The higher thought

The thoughts in your memories, they stand still, they revere the higher thought, it passes them all. It has come from beyond to take its place at the front of your mind. Your fear is at the newness of having something you've not had before.

52. What truth laid bare

Once you face the truth, gyp stones right away for it comes to press you in accordance with the law. It makes you quiver inside for you did not want to see what truth laid bare. It surrounds you yet it does not hurt as you thought. You must have known not a lot to deal with just knowing the truth, yet there is refreshment in it, the lines can be defined. To know truth you know the lies. 

53. Belief in yourself

Belief in yourself breaks tears in your eyes. The part you ignore demands attention saying, 'Look at me', ‘I' ‘am here', 'I just am'. 

54. In troubled times

In troubled times I have no doubt it is upon me, while others rejoice, the fox I pray escapes my grasp. It is hard to think of myself and others at the same time.  

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